Misery Does Indeed Love Company

One lesson that has been driven home by perusing manosphere blogs and forums is that misery does love company. It seems like there is always some loser that either doesn't put in the work, constantly focuses on negativity, or were given an unfortunate genetic curse to the point that it is hopeless for them to attract women. While it is understandably difficult to cheer on others (especially others that may be adversaries) when one is losing, these specimens go out of their way to drag others into misery along with them. They will attack OPs that speak of their success (which is typically ineffective), or target neophytes that are trying to improve their game or take notes from successful people.

Essentially, what these miserable incel trolls do is take advantage of easy prey. Looking at one such example, the now-defunct PUAHate.com, they were doing the exact same thing that they accused PUAs of doing: taking advantage of weak, vulnerable men that were unable to get any. The only difference was that while the PUAs may try to cash in by selling a bill of goods, the PUAHate brigade tried to completely destroy other men's chances in order to feel better about themselves while being virtually surrounded by others wallowing in misery.

There certainly is strength in numbers, so it is natural for people that face the same problems to join up and discuss their issues together. However, when these groups are only whining about the issues without trying to form an effective plan of action to deal with them, one must question the group. Such groups are not worth joining or dealing with and are best avoided. We see such parties in a variety of settings, be it aggrieved communities, social justice Tumblrs, and even on forums from those that are venerated as Alpha males. Yours truly is also guilty of doing this, and I am trying my best not to fall into this trap again.

When someone tries to crush your spirits or encourage you to join them in their tearful circle jerks, it is best to ignore them and continue upon your own path. This is not to say that grievances should be ignored, but it is to say that people that have no solution to deal with these grievances, and only want additional people to cry without taking any proper action towards solving the problem are best avoided.

Cast a Wider Net to Catch Your Prize

Rejection is a part of life that we will have to deal with at one time or another. It can effect us in just about every aspect of our lives: employment, dating, sex, entrepreneurship, you name it. Fear of being turned down, whether it is the fear of appearing weak or otherwise inferior, or fear that was developed after past rejections can stifle our personal development, and prevent us from reaching our goals in life.

Oftentimes, there is little that can be done. If a girl that you are after just does not want to be bothered with you, then you probably are not going to be able to do much to change her mind. If your business ideas are not getting the greenlight from certain investors, no matter how hard you pitch them, then you probably will not see a cent from them anytime soon. Does this mean that you should give up on dating, or throw away your ideas? Absolutely not! Instead of throwing in the towel, you should cast a wider net.

What this means is that you should always keep your options open, so that if you fail with one prospect, you have others to fall back on where you may succeed. For instance, if you are trying to pitch an idea to investors but you get shot down, that does not mean that you should kill your dreams. Instead, modify the idea or your pitch as much as you need to, and try to target other investors. If this does not work, you can fall back on crowdfunding, or a combination of these investment sources. Expanding your options makes it easier to find at least one source that will work for you.

The principle applies for girls. Now, this can be a hard thing to do depending on where you are as there might not be enough suitable women in your area (like in my hometown, especially given my preference), and that wide net might end up catching one big whale. In this case, you might have to relocate, or utilize online dating. If you are in an area where you have potential access to many attractive women, you will want to keep your options open with as many as possible. If a girl rejects you, then you can pick yourself up and talk to the next. If one flakes on you, then you can set up a night out (or a night in) with a different lady.

Knowing that options are available will help you to maintain your confidence, even after being hit by rejection. Cast your net as wide as you possibly can in order to increase your chances of success.

Oneitis: Still a Problem in the West

Throughout history, there have been several epidemics. The Plague, the Spanish Flu, AIDS, and Ebola (which was foolishly brought to the United States) all come to mind. There is one more ailment that effects otherwise healthy men, it is known as Oneitis.

The primary symptom of Oneitis is obsessive feelings over one woman. This is not to be confused with fidelity in a relationship with a woman that deserves it, or the loyalty that a functional marriage would have. Instead, it is characterized by loyalty and devotion to a woman that does not reciprocate it, or feigns it to drain a man of his resources. It may also lead to a man being inhibited from making moves in his life, whether they be romantic, financial, or otherwise, all to please this so-called special person. In this article, we will discuss some of the main causes of Oneitis.

Fear

Fear is one of the biggest causes of Oneitis. The fear of losing the interest of that “special” girl can cause men to take actions that are self-destructive, or not take actions that are beneficial. Oftentimes, the “special” girl does not find the afflicted man to be special at all, and it follows that the interest was never there in the first place. The man wastes away (or at least wastes his time) with pursuits that are non-beneficial.

Self-doubt may also cause a man to believe that he cannot attract other women. A bird in hand is worth two in the bush, as they say, but many times, the birds in hand are mangy pigeons rather than juicy chickens. These men will end up living lives lacking of sexual fulfillment, while being browbeaten by their ever-fattening counterparts.

Religion

Most religions teach us that fornication is wrong, and that we should seek one mate to spend the rest of our lives with. Perhaps this worked in the past, but in today's world of hypergamy and hypersexuality, these notions just do not hold. Even within the houses of religion, there is plenty of hanky-panky going on. The same preacher that teaches you to find one suitable wife is probably popping multiple women in the church, using his supposed spiritual authority to get in women's draws. He may also be splashing more than holy water on the choirboys too.

Lack of Growth

When we are children, we watch movies and read books about princes and princesses falling in love and living happily ever after. If we are lucky, we had two loving parents that supported each other. However, in today's world, there comes a time when we grow up and realize that we were lied to by the stories, and what worked for our parents might not work for us in contemporary society, for better or for worse.

Some men believe that despite all that they see around them, that there is indeed one special person made especially for them. There is a sense of justice, and no matter how many times the princess turns them down, the prince knows that he will will win her heart. Unfortunately, the only winning here is the princess taking resources from Prince Beta while getting the diugh from King Alpha.

Lack of Suitable Women

In some locations, there is a very real lack of suitable women, whether it is because the women in an area are all unattractive, or a man lacks the properties necessary to attract decent women. In the first case, the young men will naturally vie for the affections of the rare good-looking women in the area. In the latter case, a young man may devote himself entirely to the solitary female that gives him an ounce of attention.

Now that we have gone over some of the symptoms and causes of Oneitis, let's briefly discuss potential cures. Mary Poppins said that “a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down”; in the case of this ailment, spooning out some sugarwalls is the medicine itself. See other women, and after you've busted a few good nuts, see if the princess still enchants you. A change of mindset may also be in order. Try to see the world for what it really is rather than living completely in idealism. Finally, make sure that you don't give your all to a woman that gives you nothing or only leads you on. In the future, I will talk about my bout with Oneitis and how I cured myself of it.