Why You Should See Every Day As Christmas

Originally posted on Return of Kings on December 2, 2014. You can read the original post here: link.

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When I was but a wee lad, my father would often say that every day is Christmas when the holiday season rolled around. In my youth, I did not understand since there were no daily presents, no Christmas specials being aired year-round, no tree that stayed up beyond New Year's, and it was back to school once the two weeks of winter break were over. It was not until recently that I truly realize what my father meant, and how this principle applies to life.

Every Day is Special, and No Day is Special

Some people tell us to live each day as if it were our last. This conflicts with the sensible approach of planning for the future, but they do have a point. We never know when our time will come to leave this plain of existence, so while we are here, we should make the most of the time that we do have. Do not wait until the holidays or special days to show appreciation for your loved ones, but instead show appreciation through your daily actions.

This also applies to actions that we would take to show appreciation to ourselves. No, I am not trying to tell you to treat yourself to a decadent triple latte like some Sex in the City character or overweight feminist blogger, but I am encouraging you to build yourself daily. Why wait until New Year's Day to make your resolutions when you know that you need to change your habits immediately. Do not hesitate when it comes to taking actions that will improve your lot in life. Even if you do not perish, opportunities are not guaranteed to always be available, so they should be pounced upon whenever possible. Do not wait until a holiday to talk to that cute girl; talk to her now if you get the chance to. Do not get caught up in holiday sales that generally aren't really good deals and waste your time standing in line; get what you need to get when you need it and can afford it.

Utilize Each Day to the Fullest

Yes, Christmas and other holidays are days off from work, but the work that you must do towards your own personal development does not stop when you clock out. Too many of us use these days to be slothful or engage only in leisure activities. Of course, it is great to enjoy yourself and to enjoy your time off, but the world will keep moving on, leaving you behind. We should do something to improve ourselves each and every day that we are allotted. Holidays are some of the better days to develop ourselves, actually, since we do not have to worry about clocking in for our bosses. Instead, we can spend that extra hour at the gym (if it's closed, we can go for a run or do calisthenics), read a few chapters in those personal development books, catch up on articles on various websites, and so on.

This is something that the advertisers and retailers know. Advertisements do not stop for the holidays; in fact, they ramp up. If businesses can do it, then why can't we? The grind never stops. Even when you are sleeping, your body is recuperating and repairing to be able to take on the next day. Just because it is Christmas, Kwanzaa, Golden Week, the Dragon Boat Festival, Fat Shaming Week, or even Christian Love Day doesn't mean that the world comes to a standstill, so we shouldn't either.

Holidays are Losing Their Luster

Okay, this probably isn't what my father meant, but it is something that I have been noticing. Maybe I have just become a humbug after becoming an adult, maybe it is a shift in cultural trends, or maybe it is a combination of these factors or other factors, but based on what I have been seeing, Western holidays seem to have lost their meanings. For most people that I know, holidays are just days where they don't have to go to work, or have to run around from store-to-store spending hours of their time and dipping into their savings to purchase decorations and gifts. This really hit home when I spent Christmas in Japan a few years back and noticed all of the Christmas decorations in a country where less than one percent of the population claims to adhere to the religion of Christianity. It's just another aspect of Western culture that the Japanese people find “cool” to follow, I suppose, and another way for international companies to make more money. (As a side note, it is also a great day to pick up in Japan).

No matter where we are or what set of holidays are celebrated in our countries of residence, we should seek to develop ourselves constantly, show appreciation to the people in our lives that deserve it everyday, not overindulge in consumerism or sloth, and not wait until designated special days to complete tasks or make necessary changes in our lives. Happy Holidays to you and yours, and remember to stay on the grind.

Racial Divide: The Need for a Black Manosphere

Anyone with any senses knows that Black men and White men (as well as other non-Black men) face very different issues when it comes to dealing with women. For the average White man, all that they have to do is fall off of a plane somewhere in Asia to go from zero to hero overnight. In the case of Black men, yes, we can have some success, but that success is not guaranteed. Perhaps there is Brazil, the Caribbean, or Africa, but even then, there are other issues that Black men must face that other races can skate around.

It is no secret that a great deal of the manosphere is geared towards White men or other races that can pass for White or can say "at least I'm not Black". With that being said, Black men are often met with hostility, or stories of White men conquering places and women that a Black man could not even dream of. If a Black man were to even think of succeeding, he is discouraged. If a Black man finds even a scant amount of success, he is demonized from his so-called redpill "brothers" just as he would be from an SJW. What we must realize is that this is competition, and from the White man's perspective, the Black man is their adversary, or at best, pawns.

Remember that time that I told you to only fight battles that benefit you? This is the time to put that advice to good use. What does it matter if a White guy gets banned from Australia for feeling up Japanese girls? I am a Black man that likes Japanese girls, and he is only out for White men to enjoy them. Of course, the SJWs would not want heterosexual Black men to get full enjoyment out of our trips to Asia either, so why not just sit back and let them fight each other while building our own resources, media, and other solutions so that we may stroll to our prizes? Why should we do battle for White men to be able to have orgies in China like in Marco Polo (while calling us nigger) when we cannot even get a drop of tang, and will not be rewarded with a single concubine for our efforts? Why should we even offer them support or give them props when we are torn down by these very same people for even being seen in China?

Brothers, and I'm talking to my Black Brothers that have any sense, it is time for us to really go our own way. Realistically speaking, we won't be setting up colonies or nations overnight, and sadly, we'll probably still have to go to their grocery stores for water, but at the very least, can we have our own forums? Can we have our own videos on YouTube for Black men addressing our issues? Can we at least ask a Black man that has been to Chengdu if we can get women there instead of asking the White guy that brags about how he can get chicks on the merit of being White?

The divide is here, people, and it is time for us to accept it. Time for us to stop trying to integrate (or be recruited) by movements, left or right of the political spectrum, that benefit us in no way. Time for us to form our own league, go for our own goals, and protect ourselves and our interests from our adversaries, just as they have done time and again. Let us strive for our own magnificence instead of praising that of others, or worse yet, attempting to contribute to it.

New Years Resolutions

So 2014 is coming to a close and we are about to enter 2015. Some people will be making resolutions for the new year, but personally, I will pass on this. I have already set my goals and I have already started moving towards them. I urge you, dear readers, to do the same. There is nothing "special" about making New Year's resolutions that will make them come any truer than if you were to start today, and the sooner you begin, the sooner you can reach your goals and set new ones.

On a personal note, my goals going into 2015 are to study more, gain at least five pounds of muscle mass, eat healthier, and get laid more often without lowering my standards. I have started getting to work on all of these goals now (except for the latter one since there are few women that I am attracted to in my locale, but the other goals will help towards this goal once I have returned to Asia).

I am also announcing a hiatus from blogging until February, since my schedule is going to be packed and I won't be able to do much writing. I still have a couple of articles uploaded that will be released later this week and the first week of January. I'll see you in February, and I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors, of course, provided that they do not run contrary to my own.

Happy New Year.

Good Things Come to Those Who Persist, Not Those Who Wait

Adages such as “Good things come to those who wait” and “Patience is a virtue” are often told to children to instill patience in them (or just to get them to stop whining about a long car trip or the wait for the Holiday season). While patience can indeed be a good quality to have, it is a rare case to see someone actually get somewhere by sitting around and waiting all of their lives. Too many people apply a saying that was used to get us to wait for toys or pipe down on a long road trip to finding success in life.

The proper saying that we should apply to our lives is “Good things come to those who persist.” What this means is that we might not get to where we are going the first time that we try. We may fail miserably as we learn our crafts, but continuous practice will help us to develop our skills. Continuous work, and getting on our grinds will be our paths to reaching our goals. There is no time to sit on our laurels; we must dust ourselves off, lean from our failures rather than constantly lament them, and continue on our endeavors.

There are many reasons why one may believe otherwise. For me, my counselors in high school as well as my Christian upbringing convinced me that if I jumped through all of the hoops that I was supposed to and waited, that society or GodJesus would rewards me. Get your bachelor's degree, go to church, don't fornicate, and say your prayers brother, and life will be alright, and if it isn't you will go to Heaven when you die and it will be pretty sweet to sit around worshiping GodJesus and the Bear forever and ever. Boy were they wrong. My life did not start getting better for me until I decided to get up, consistently strive to better myself (mind and body), see the world, and see the world for what it really is. Oh, and fornicating has made my life better too.

Do not let others tell you to keep waiting when you know that it takes action to get where you want to go. Yes, rash decisions and actions can lead to disaster, but indecision and inaction will lead to certain stagnation. Make sure that you plan your approaches, but always move towards your goals every day that you are breathing.

There Is No Escape from Work

In today's society, everyone wants quick, easy results. We see this all of the time in advertising, whether it is Six-Pack Shortcuts, quick and easy ways to make money (such as multi-level marketing or advertising partnerships), or even packaged pick-up lines to impress the ladies. Millions of people fall for systems that promise quick, easy success, only to be separated from their money and time, winding up in the same place that they were when they started these programs, or in an even worse predicament since they have thrown away their resources.

I am here to tell you that there is no alternative to working towards your goals (unless maybe you were born with great genetics or a silver spoon, and even in those cases, you would probably have to work to maintain what you have). Even if you enroll in an MLM (which I am not against, per se), you are going to have to do the ground work to build your network and reap the profits. If you subscribe to a workout plan, you are going to have to stick with it, and you might even have to learn how to modify it to get the fitness results that you truly desire. There is no guaranteed quick and easy route to success, as evidenced by those that have invested in these products and services, but have nothing to show for it since they did not get up to do the work.

We must also factor the reality of unfairness in the equation of success. There will be people out to stifle up-and-comers in order to secure their positions of power. There will also be those hawking their shortcuts, constantly looking for fools to separate from their money and their time. All of the complaining in the world (unless you are deemed “likable” or “useful” by those in power), like it or not, will not stop these things from happening or prevent these people from operating at the expense of others. With this, as well as the law of nature in mind, one must also factor in defense as a part of the work necessary to succeed. If someone has their foot on your neck, it is up to you to take that foot off and make sure that they can never do it again. If people are out to trick you, you must be wary of their traps, and ready to turn the tables in your favor when the opportunity presents itself.

Put in the work that you need to in order to strive towards your goals, and do it as soon and as often as possible. Remember that the world is cruel, and that there are entities that want to see you fail, so you must form your defenses, be they mental, physical, or otherwise, to stave off their attacks. Protecting yourself at all times goes beyond the boxing ring. Assuming that you are not my adversary, I wish you the best of luck, but your work will be the primary vehicle that will get you where you need to go.

Don't Waste Time with Unnecessary Battles

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November Goals Assessment

To begin, I hope that everyone had a great Thanksgiving if you celebrate it, and I hope that you weren't separated from too much of your cash (or any of your limbs) on Black Friday. We have reached the end of the month, and it is time to look over the goals that we set on the first and see how we measured up.

Make $500 online

I only ended up making a fifth of this goal. I did, however, find other means to make income which should make this a much easier goal to reach by the close of the year.

Read One Personal Development Book

Another failure. I did not even crack open a personal development book this month since I became swamped with other information. there are no excuses for failure, but I am thrilled to report that the information that I have read will contribute greatly to my personal and financial development in the future.

Blog at Least Once a Week

If you have been following my blogs, you will know that I have succeeded with this goal, although most of my posts were on this blog here. My goal was only to blog at least once across all of my blogs, so this objective was completed. I am also ahead a bit in my writing, so I can take the first weeks of December a bit easier and focus on other things.

Regularly Comment on Other Blogs

Yet another failure. I did comment on other blogs, and I recently joined a social network (feel free to add me here) where I have been sharing links and interacting with a few other users, but I didn't complete my assigned task.

Looking at these goals, I have to say that I disappointed myself. Looking back at the month, however, I must say that it was an overall success and that my actions therein will open up new doors for me in the future. I will be recycling these goals next month with one modification: instead of trying to make $500 online, I only have to make an additional $500 by any legal means. I hope that you accomplished what you set out to do, and I wish you the best of luck next month. Let's finish the year strong.

Cast a Wider Net to Catch Your Prize

Rejection is a part of life that we will have to deal with at one time or another. It can effect us in just about every aspect of our lives: employment, dating, sex, entrepreneurship, you name it. Fear of being turned down, whether it is the fear of appearing weak or otherwise inferior, or fear that was developed after past rejections can stifle our personal development, and prevent us from reaching our goals in life.

Oftentimes, there is little that can be done. If a girl that you are after just does not want to be bothered with you, then you probably are not going to be able to do much to change her mind. If your business ideas are not getting the greenlight from certain investors, no matter how hard you pitch them, then you probably will not see a cent from them anytime soon. Does this mean that you should give up on dating, or throw away your ideas? Absolutely not! Instead of throwing in the towel, you should cast a wider net.

What this means is that you should always keep your options open, so that if you fail with one prospect, you have others to fall back on where you may succeed. For instance, if you are trying to pitch an idea to investors but you get shot down, that does not mean that you should kill your dreams. Instead, modify the idea or your pitch as much as you need to, and try to target other investors. If this does not work, you can fall back on crowdfunding, or a combination of these investment sources. Expanding your options makes it easier to find at least one source that will work for you.

The principle applies for girls. Now, this can be a hard thing to do depending on where you are as there might not be enough suitable women in your area (like in my hometown, especially given my preference), and that wide net might end up catching one big whale. In this case, you might have to relocate, or utilize online dating. If you are in an area where you have potential access to many attractive women, you will want to keep your options open with as many as possible. If a girl rejects you, then you can pick yourself up and talk to the next. If one flakes on you, then you can set up a night out (or a night in) with a different lady.

Knowing that options are available will help you to maintain your confidence, even after being hit by rejection. Cast your net as wide as you possibly can in order to increase your chances of success.

Debate: P4P vs. PUA, Which Is More Alpha?

Recently, I came across a debate on a forum that I occasionally peruse whereon one side, some posters believe that it is more Alpha to pay for the company of a woman, while on the other side, some believe that it is more Alpha to go to PUA (pick up artist) bootcamps and utilize their tactics. Given my knowledge of what an Alpha Male is and my beliefs, it is never Alpha to have to pay in order to sleep with a woman. That is not to say that an Alpha does not ever pay, and that is not to say that we do not all pay in some way, whether it be time, money, or some other resource, but an Alpha should be able to score without paying a woman of the night.

On the other hand, most people that attend PUA classes do not reach the high levels of success that they dream of, and many end up right in the same position that they started from. Of course, some of this has to do with not putting in the right amount of work to improve their game, but some of it is due to the fact that the same tactics will not work for everyone, and also that no matter how good one's game is, there are limitations because there are some women that just won't bite for some men no matter what one does (that was a metaphor by the way). However, for the handful of people that do develop their game and find success using PUA methods, I suppose that this would be the better option.

From my perspective, if one finds it hopeless for them to get laid, it is probably better to just pay for it than to waste money on PUA lessons that are not guaranteed to get them anywhere. It is a greater evil to finance another man's lifestyle that will shit on them when one could pay the same money or less to get a sure shot of having it with a woman (that if paid enough might literally shit on them, if that turns them on).

Personally, I do not claim to be Alpha, but I would not want to pay for a woman (other than paying for a date or something along those lines). I do like to win, but there is just something off-putting about going the P4P (pay for play) route, so I do not indulge myself in it. I would not want to attend a PUA camp either though, especially if I had to come out of pocket for it, since I find it even worse to put another man on a pedestal and finance his lifestyle when mine is lacking, which is what I often see in the online PUA community (pretty “Beta” behavior, for lack of a better term). For this reason, paying women for sex wins this battle, although it cannot be classified as “winning.”

Hypocrisy and the Game of Power

When we are brought up as children, we are taught to do what is right and just for the benefit of society. In other words, we are taught to be moral. Growing up, we often encounter others that claim to do what is right, but behind closed doors (and sometimes, right in our faces) they will take action contrary to what they supposedly stand for. This is hypocrisy, and it is a major tool in the game of power in contemporary society.

Whether we are dealing with the White Nationalist that claims to promote racial purity, but cannot keep his mushroom tip out of Asian and Latin sugarwalls (all while telling the world that it is a sin for Black men to get any), the liberal social justice warrior (SJW) that claims to stand up for the equality of people with all sexual preferences, but slams the evil, cisgendered heterosexual male, or the preacher that tells his congregation to separate from their worldly possessions and tithe so that he can purchase a new Cadillac, we must be aware of the game that they are playing. You cannot deal with these types using logic, even their own logic, since they and their followers will strike you down. They do not care about following their paradigms and only wish to stifle you, mold you to fit their needs, or smash you as a competitor.

The hypocrite claims to play by the rules, and in some cases, may enforce the rules, but in reality, they break them while pointing out others to be scapegoats. Their prime targets are those that do wish to play the game by the rules and act right. Those that are overly conscious of breaking the rules, and those that are overly apologetic are easy victims of the hypocrite.

These days, it seems like everyone is a hypocrite. It is OK for them to take an action or make a statement, but if a member of the opposing team does the same thing, then it is evil, wrong, and the opposing party should be ashamed of themselves. There is no escaping this reality, for better or worse, so be mindful of it, and try to manipulate the playing field in your favor. If it is alright for them to take such actions, and they refuse to put an end to their lies, then feel free to use the same tactics for the benefit of your side of the conflict. Remember that mutual unfairness is as close to fair as life gets. When it comes to online arguments especially, it is best to simply ignore the hypocrite and go about your own way.

In real life, dealing with hypocrites is much more difficult since they may be in a position to take action that would have a direct effect upon our lives. If the offender has power over you, you may have to put up with the double standards, at least until you can attain power through other methods and end up on top. If you can, try to distance yourself from this entity. Keep in mind that power may give the offender a "halo effect" of sorts, making them look wholesome as they claim, while you are labeled as the bad guy. This simply illustrates the importance of gaining and keeping power for yourself.

A Catalyst Alone is Not Enough

In chemistry, a catalyst is a substance that increases that rate at which a chemical reaction takes place. In our day-to-day lives (aside from the chemical reactions taking place in our bodies and all around us), a catalyst can also be a person, thing, or event that causes us to take action or change ourselves. Some can be negative, such as financial hard times or deaths of people close to us, while others can be positive, like reading a motivational book (or blog post by yours truly), or meeting a successful person that you want to emulate, and others still may be neutral (or could ebb towards positive and negative depending on one's perspective) such as religion or the goals that we set. A any rate, catalysts light fires under our asses to make changes in our lives that we deem necessary to advance.

Once you have found your catalyst (or it has found you) and the fire has been lit, do not think that your life is in the bag. It is going to be up to you to kindle the fire into an inferno of self-improvement and development. There are many people that satiate themselves in self-help material or prayer, then wonder why their lives are not improving at all. This can be due to "paralysis by analysis", fear, downright laziness, or other causes, but if this behavior persists, one will find themselves right back in another rut.

 A catalyst on its own will not cause a chemical reaction; reactants are needed. In the case of your personal development, the "reactants" will be your passions, your goals, your visions, your skills, your work, and any other factor that will contribute to your success. These aspects must be cultivated and put in motion in order to find success since it will not fall out of the sky for most people, despite how many self-help books you have read, or prayers you have sent up to GodJesus, the Bear, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or my personal favorite:

Is the [Gr]ass Greener on the Other Side?

As I am sure that you may know by now, yours truly has a hard case of Yellow Fever. I am not the only one, as according to statistics, Asian women receive more responses than any other woman on dating sites. It doesn't take a PhD to see that droves of Westerners fly out to Asia every year with women being one of the primary reasons why.

Yeah, I want you too.

Interracial dating (or at least screwing) has been happening since different races came in contact with each other, and it probably isn't going to go away anytime soon. There are numerous reasons why people choose to date interracially, whether it be a preference (like myself), an issue of what is available in one's geographical area, or rejection from one's own race. Some people, however, go so far as to believe that women of such-and-such race or from such-and-such country are perfect. Is this really the case?

I would err on the side of saying no. In some cases, it may seem that the ass (excuse me, I meant to say grass) is much greener on the other side of the fence, but when you dig deeper, you will realize that people of other cultures have problems too. For instance, people say that Japanese women are sweet, innocent, docile, submissive, and so on, but many that have actually been out there to the Kuni would say otherwise. I have heard of many foreign men that stopped getting sex from their Japanese wives as soon as the child was born. Some are denied custody of their children from sweet, demure Japanese women, and we cannot forget the phenomenon of "grass-eating men".

The same can be said for interracial dating in America. Given the behavior of most American women, dating different races can in some cases be like dating the same venomous personality type but in a different shade. This can also come with the addition of discrimination from family or friends of either party, be it women of the man's race hating to see him date out, or people of the other race having hostility towards the man. This is something that we must keep in mind (especially Black men, and on a global scale).

Personally, I am not interested in American women at all, so I am going to take the discussion back overseas. Women in other countries do indeed seem more feminine than women in the West, and for sure, they tend to be more attractive (at least in Northeast Asia, my target region), but they are not without their issues. If you think that gold-diggers are an issue in the West, then you will have to be wary of women that seek green cards. If American sluts give you problems, then be careful with what you settle down with, since many of the foreign D-hunters are sluts in their own right (I guess that it's all good when you are the one being selected rather than the frat boys and athletes though). Just be careful what you get into, regardless of where you get into it.

I am not trying to discourage interracial, intercultural, or international relationships (or trysts) at all. I just want people to be careful not to think that things are always going to be perfect just because you are "hopping the fence". Every relationship is going to have its issues, so just be on your P's and Q's and go for what you want, remembering to avoid putting women on a pedestal. It is your road to pave, but always keep AWALT in mind.

Wake Up: It's the First of the Month

It's the first of the month, and that means that it is time to reassess your goals. If you made any New Year's resolutions back in January, then you still have two months to get back on track and try to make those changes. Let's try to finish this year strong.

Use whichever tactics you find necessary to get your goals done. These can be affirmations, setting higher goals and falling short at your real goal (or maybe even reaching your lofty goals, you never know), tackling your objectives piecemeal, or whatever other methods you may have to keep your targets in mind and get things done.

My personal goals for this month are as follows:

Make $500 Online

This can be by freelancing, from ad revenue, or other means, as long as I make $500 or more. This money will go towards my travel to China next year and should not be touched for any other reason.

Read One Personal Development Book

I want to read at least one personal development book from cover to cover this month. It may be a shorter e-book, but I at least want to finish one as long as it provides information that can help me out in my life.

Blog at Least Once a Week

It looks like I am already off to a good start with this goal. I want to write at least one blog post per week, either on this blog, my fitness blog, or my tech and gaming blog.

Regularly Comment on Other Blogs

I hope to communicate more with other bloggers in my niches, so I will be commenting on more blogs this month. I plan to comment at least five times a week on different blogs.

I will be keeping these goals in mind all month and striving to accomplish them. I urge you to do the same, then reflect upon your progress at the end of the month. Let's finish strong, people.

The Importance of Education

Recently, manosphere writer Matt Forney released an article on Return of Kings giving reasons why men should not attend college. He states that college is an expensive waste of time, and that young men will be bombarded by feminism and blamed for all of the ills in society. I agree that college is a business these days, and like all businesses, the primary objective is for universities to make money, not necessarily train the best and the brightest that our generation has to offer. I also agree that young men are subjected to feminism day-in and day-out from kindergarten to twelfth, and it does not end in college. To top things off, if you are a Black man and aren't going to an HBCU, you can expect to catch hell for being a man and if there is a conservative backlash, don't think that they're going to have your interests in mind, as you will likely be labeled as a liberal that only got in because of affirmative action (you probably won't do too well with the ladies either unless you are an athlete).

All of that being said, I still cannot say that I am against education. Education is vital to success, but college is not necessarily the right path of education for everyone. There are alternatives such as trades, mentors, and good old fashioned experience.

Throughout my formative years, teachers as well as my parents would tell me about the importance of getting a college education. By the time I got to college, I thought that I would learn everything that I needed to in order to be successful in life, and I thought that getting my degree would open doors to guaranteed and lucrative employment. I am here to tell you that I thought wrong. I have never once worked a "real job" using what I have learned in college, and the freelance gigs that I have done that would fall under the subject of my major were all completed with skills learned on my own.

Now, do I regret going to college and earning my bachelor's degree? Absolutely not. It is something to put down on a resume, and looks great when you want to work for other people. More importantly for me, it, along with a TEFL certificate (and I suppose being lucky enough to have been born and raised in one of the “Big Five” English-speaking countries), has been a ticket for me to teach English overseas. My regrets revolve around being stagnant and thinking that a degree would be my ticket to financial security.

Should you decide to go to college, I urge you to study your subject thoroughly outside of the confines of the classroom. Your assignments are great for learning the basics of your subject, but if you want to dig deep, you are going to have to do the hard work yourself. Look up resources online or spend time at the library studying your craft. Talk to experienced people in your major, or even your professors as they may be able to provide you with additional information. Being the shy introvert that I was in college, I would spend all of my time alone doing enough to pass my core classes (with A's), but would not do much beyond that to truly learn or communicate ideas with others. Even if you decide not to go to college, this is a great way to learn, and I find myself studying more now, even after I have graduated than I did when I was enrolled at the university.

I might also add that you should try to be well-rounded, or at least capable of socializing. Learn a few things outside of your major, even if it's just picking apart the arguments of all of the feminists in those multicultural language arts classes that they force you to take, even though you're going to be a super-duper code monkey. This may sound contradictory, but you should also keep in mind that while wanting to get laid is perfectly natural and healthy, despite what some of your professors or some social clubs on campus may try to tell you, remember that your objective is to learn, get your degree, and get out as soon as possible so that you do not waste time or rack up a huge debt.

The conclusion that I have come to is that learning is indeed a lifelong endeavor. It does not stop after high school or college, and it does not exist only within the confines of traditional academia. No matter what path you choose, you are always going to have to study and practice in order to stay on top of the game; this goes back to what I said about “always beplayin'”. Utilize any resources or connections that you may have in order to perfect your craft and learn new things. This is the reality behind the importance of education.

Do Affirmations Actually Work?

Affirmations are thoughts that are spoken aloud in order to change one's mindset. New Age self-help gurus and their followers often state that verbalizing affirmations will help a person to reach their goals in life. For instance, stating that you have gained twenty pounds of muscle each morning while looking in the mirror should result in you making those muscular gains.

Is there a mystical, magical realm where your words become a reality? Is there a second dimension with mystical beings that will make sure that your dreams become a reality? Do affirmations connect you with GodJesus or some greater spiritual consciousness that will make the world suddenly work in your favor?

Some may spout affirmations daily like they should, but nothing ever happens. They find themselves further and further away from accomplishing their goals. As life passes them by, and their bodies, minds, and skills atrophy, they wonder why they are not where they should be; the magic of affirmations failed them.

I am here to tell you that affirmations are not magic, and simply stating what you want while imagining that you are where you want to be in the future is not going to bring results. Does this mean that you should completely forget about affirmations? No, not at all. I just want you to realize that affirmations alone are not going to get you to where you want to be (assuming that your goals go beyond just reciting affirmations). Verbal affirmations can be quite useful for lifting your spirits or keeping you motivated. This boost of morale and self-motivation can get you in gear to take actions towards your goals. The actions themselves are what will get you to your objectives.

Personally, I have been using affirmations from time to time, and they have helped to stave off negative thoughts and put my mindset in a frame to do what needs to be done to complete my missions in life. If you think that affirmations will help you along the road of personal development and towards your goals, then by all means employ them. They can be a great way to boost and maintain morale. Just remember that you need to get the work done if you want to succeed.

Stop Living Vicariously Through Others

In today's society, we are inundated with images of successful people. These are typically celebrities and athletes, but they may also be people that you encounter on social networks. We see this all of the time on manosphere blogs and forums, where commentators almost seem to get a rise from the exploits of others. There is nothing wrong with giving props where they are due, and nothing wrong with admiring or learning from someone that has succeeded where you want to, but the problem that I am seeing is people that go through their lives praising the accomplishments of others to get a rise in their otherwise unfulfilled lives.

The OPs, Alphas, celebrities, and so on are making their money. They're getting their püh. They're traveling the globe and enjoying themselves, all while those that are living vicariously continue to age, stay in the same neighborhoods that they grew up in, waste hours and hours online singing the praises of others and helping them finance their lifestyles while going into deeper and deeper debt. Those that get their jollies riding the bandwagon of others (at least when it comes to celebrity worship) do not really get anything of their own in the long run.

Throughout most of my life, I have lived vicariously through the accomplishments of others. I would praise celebrities like Floyd Mayweather, and each time that he fought and won, it would be a victory for me as a Black man. There is a degree of truth to that given the way that the media works, but I was not making any of the money that Floyd was making, and after the excitement of the fight was over, it was still a lonely Saturday night for me where I would try to find clips of Black men banging Asian women and frig myself vicariously to them. I spent little time trying to better my mindset so that I could take on the world and have victories of my own. If Floyd would have lost, I would have been crushed, as I would have had nothing at all to be proud of. Don't get me wrong, I would still like to see Mayweather retire undefeated, but if he does get an "L" on his record, I will still have my life to live and my endeavors to reach.

Win or lose, I will win for myself.

Instead of trying to live off of the accomplishments of others, I have decided to set forth and accomplish what I want to get done with my life. I advice you all to do the same. Turn off the video games if your level 99 warlock isn't helping you to cast spells or make money in real life. Cut off the porn because you're not banging those girls. Click off the TV, hit the gym and get swole yourself because you didn't just score that touchdown. I'm not saying that you cannot cheer for your favorite team or athlete, or indulge yourself in entertainment from time to time, but just make sure that you are growing and building yourself so that when it is all over, you can say that you actually did something with your life other than just riding the jock of others.

Oneitis: Still a Problem in the West

Throughout history, there have been several epidemics. The Plague, the Spanish Flu, AIDS, and Ebola (which was foolishly brought to the United States) all come to mind. There is one more ailment that effects otherwise healthy men, it is known as Oneitis.

The primary symptom of Oneitis is obsessive feelings over one woman. This is not to be confused with fidelity in a relationship with a woman that deserves it, or the loyalty that a functional marriage would have. Instead, it is characterized by loyalty and devotion to a woman that does not reciprocate it, or feigns it to drain a man of his resources. It may also lead to a man being inhibited from making moves in his life, whether they be romantic, financial, or otherwise, all to please this so-called special person. In this article, we will discuss some of the main causes of Oneitis.

Fear

Fear is one of the biggest causes of Oneitis. The fear of losing the interest of that “special” girl can cause men to take actions that are self-destructive, or not take actions that are beneficial. Oftentimes, the “special” girl does not find the afflicted man to be special at all, and it follows that the interest was never there in the first place. The man wastes away (or at least wastes his time) with pursuits that are non-beneficial.

Self-doubt may also cause a man to believe that he cannot attract other women. A bird in hand is worth two in the bush, as they say, but many times, the birds in hand are mangy pigeons rather than juicy chickens. These men will end up living lives lacking of sexual fulfillment, while being browbeaten by their ever-fattening counterparts.

Religion

Most religions teach us that fornication is wrong, and that we should seek one mate to spend the rest of our lives with. Perhaps this worked in the past, but in today's world of hypergamy and hypersexuality, these notions just do not hold. Even within the houses of religion, there is plenty of hanky-panky going on. The same preacher that teaches you to find one suitable wife is probably popping multiple women in the church, using his supposed spiritual authority to get in women's draws. He may also be splashing more than holy water on the choirboys too.

Lack of Growth

When we are children, we watch movies and read books about princes and princesses falling in love and living happily ever after. If we are lucky, we had two loving parents that supported each other. However, in today's world, there comes a time when we grow up and realize that we were lied to by the stories, and what worked for our parents might not work for us in contemporary society, for better or for worse.

Some men believe that despite all that they see around them, that there is indeed one special person made especially for them. There is a sense of justice, and no matter how many times the princess turns them down, the prince knows that he will will win her heart. Unfortunately, the only winning here is the princess taking resources from Prince Beta while getting the diugh from King Alpha.

Lack of Suitable Women

In some locations, there is a very real lack of suitable women, whether it is because the women in an area are all unattractive, or a man lacks the properties necessary to attract decent women. In the first case, the young men will naturally vie for the affections of the rare good-looking women in the area. In the latter case, a young man may devote himself entirely to the solitary female that gives him an ounce of attention.

Now that we have gone over some of the symptoms and causes of Oneitis, let's briefly discuss potential cures. Mary Poppins said that “a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down”; in the case of this ailment, spooning out some sugarwalls is the medicine itself. See other women, and after you've busted a few good nuts, see if the princess still enchants you. A change of mindset may also be in order. Try to see the world for what it really is rather than living completely in idealism. Finally, make sure that you don't give your all to a woman that gives you nothing or only leads you on. In the future, I will talk about my bout with Oneitis and how I cured myself of it.

Reasons Why Social Justice is Not For Heterosexual Black Men

In recent years, social justice warriors have crowded to the Internet in order to "promote awareness" and take part in virtual activism. Supposedly, these social justice warriors (or SJWs for short) stand up for the downtrodden, such as minorities, women, and homosexuals against the evil, oppressive heterosexual, cisgendered White men. Now, being a Black man, I most certainly do agree that White supremacy exists, it is global, and it is detrimental to my progress. However, much of the rhetoric spewed by SJWs would stifle the progress of a heterosexual Black man as well.

Their Problems Aren't Ours

Many of the problems that SJWs (mainly White women) talk about simply aren't ours. They do not go out of their way to help us along in life, so we do not need to waste our resources (including time, the most precious resource) trying to help them. The same thing applies to other non-Whites (referred to as "people of color"), gays, and to a degree, Black women. History has shown that Black people will stand up for other aggrieved groups looking for allies only to have them throw us under the bus when they do not need us anymore. I for one won't be falling for that trick anymore. It is indeed time for us to take responsibility and do for ourselves.

The paradigm that all injustices matter is only a marketing ploy to get people to jump on a bandwagon issue and allocate their resources to a cause that is not their own. The real world does not work like that, as history has shown us. The reality is that injustices and inequalities that are closer to home or have an affect on you or your group are going to be the ones that really matter. The problem with trying to think that all groups outside of the White, male, heterosexual, cisgendered group will naturally ally is that different groups have different goals, and in reality, these goals are often met by aligning with White supremacy and putting Black folks down or exploiting us.

But You Should Understand

Yes, I certainly do understand what it is like to be discriminated against and historically oppressed. I can turn that argument right back around to the members of other so-called aggrieved groups. At the end of the day, their actions will speak louder than their words. They are making real strides towards real power. I think that I will do the same, and I advise other Black men to do the same with no shame in their game.

You Aren't White, But You're Still an Evil Cisgendered Man

If you are attracted to attractive women, then you are objectifying women. If you have a particular taste in women (team #BlackWithYellowFever all day), then you are an evil fetishist. Never mind the woman that has a thing for K-pop stars, since it is OK for her to have a preference. Never mind the guy that likes to pack fudge; he was born that way and you have to understand. To top this all off, if you refuse to accept the advances of an overweight transsexual that prefers to go by the pronoun "zer", then you are promoting the evils of patriarchy.

I just do not see how a perfect, social justice utopia would bode well for a straight man of any race.

It Takes Time Out of Your Busy Schedule

Unless you are pulling in those SJW dollars from ad revenue or some other source, then participating in online social justice crusades is a waste of your time. Not only are your interests unlikely to be addressed for the most part, you are also wasting valuable time that could be used to produce something or hone a craft that will potentially bring about real tangible power, and thus, real justice.

The same applies to arguing with SJWs (and any other fanatic adversary, such as White supremacists, religious zealots, naysayers, etc.), especially online. They will always bring some of their buddies to the fray, and you will never get through to them. The only time that I can see a purpose in such arguments is in the realm of political debate if you are running for office and can actually have an effect on policy, or if you are trying to drum something up that you can turn in your favor (maybe like some of the troll posts that the fellows at RoK write). The best thing for you to do when "confronted" by an SJW or another opponent to your side is to push forward with your endeavors and only confront them when absolutely necessary for defense of yourself, your teammates, and the pursuit of your objectives.

Always Be Playin'

One of the books that I read while I was in China instead of studying Chinese like I should have been was The 50th Law by Robert Greene, author of The 48 Laws of Power and many other personal development books. The 50th Law uses examples from the life of famous rapper, 50 Cent, as well as historical figures to illustrate important themes in the game of power. One of these lessons that I have learned and continuously try to implement in my life is found in Chapter 4 of the book: Keep Moving.

This chapter conveys the importance of constant motion. When one stagnates, they miss opportunities, but if one is constantly working towards a goal, even if they feel as if they are on top, then they can push further ahead and better secure their position from would-be adversaries. In other words, "Always Be Playin'". Although the way this is phrased sounds like it applies to gaming girls, this philosophy applies to just about any arena of life.

For instance, you might have a great job with an amazing salary, but you must remember that when you work for others, you are essentially expendable. There will always be someone else that can do your job and do it for less money, which means that you never know when a younger, more ambitious, or perhaps more willing rival will arrive to push you out of your job. However, if you know that you should "always be playin'", then you might apply for other jobs based on your experience. Even if you do not take these jobs, you might gain contacts in your back pocket just in case you need them, or at the very least, keep your interview skills fresh and potentially improve your confidence. Taking things a step further, you may choose to pursue entrepreneurial endeavors in order to develop skills and have alternative modes of income.

"Always be playin'" applies to the mind as well. As we get older, our mind tends to stagnate as we get set in our ways and the curiosity that we once had as children fades. Some of us may have been praised at a young age (deservingly or not in the Western world), which while good for building confidence and self-esteem, can actually stifle personal development. Thinking that we are entitled "know-it-alls" and that our ways are the only ways, especially when there is no power to back these claims, can lead to ruin. Instead of going down this path, one should open their mind to new ideas and opportunities.

Stay abreast of new developments, be they technological, economic, social, etc. on a global scale, then strike when the opportunity presents itself, or at the very least prepare yourself to deal with the "new world" that will emerge from these developments.

Dating Chinese Women: Xi'an

After spending some time in Guangzhou and Changsha, I reported to work in Xi'an. Xi'an was not really as open as the other two cities in terms of social life from my perspective, and my "daygame" methods, which consisted of being spotted by a curious or intrigued female, or using the WeChat to find language exchange partners did not work well there. It seemed like the wall around the city was not the only wall, as most of the ladies that I encountered would stare at me, then put up a shield when I tried to make eye contact in return.

It was not until I started hitting the clubs that things turned around for me in terms of meeting approachable women. I only had two experiences that could actually be called "dates" in Xi'an, and neither of them ended with intimacy. I still had a decent time in the city overall, aside from the stares, filth, and shouts of hei gway, but I cannot say that it was a great place for me in terms of dating Chinese women (although it was a decent place for casual hookups in the club).

One of the clubs that I went to was relatively close to my job, so I would usually hang out in the area, then show up at the club about an hour after it opened. This club was relatively tame compared to some of the other venues that I would peruse in Xi'an, but I would still get free drinks, and occasionally, see a girl that I liked.

One night when I was doing my usual "be the only foreigner/person that dances normal in the club" routine, I was approached by a gentleman that wanted me to drink with him and his buddies at his table. They had a bottle of whiskey and a few bottles of iced tea, which seemed to be the favored drink at this particular establishment. I had a few drinks, after which, everyone wanted to take pictures with me. One of the girls in the group, we'll call her "D^2", coerced me to sit next to her. When I did not move quickly enough for her liking, she began yelling at me in Chinese, grabbed me, and tried to force me into the seat adjacent to her. Feisty; I liked it, despite feeling a bit uncomfortable.

After the pictures were taken, what D^2 did made me feel even more uncomfortable. She slipped her hand in my pants and began frigging me, yelling furiously at me in Chinese. At this point, I did not know what to do, but her friends took her away, apologized (like I needed an apology), and went on their way. Noticing that the spot was mostly a sausage-fest, I decided to retire for the night.

I ran into D^2 about a week later after coming home from a successful night at a different club, walking home with a couple of roses from a sweet young thing that refused to utilize KTV rooms for the singing that they were made for. She recognized me and we had a small conversation, exchanging WeChat information. Another week passes by, and we are setting up a night out going clubbing and having dinner.

Long story short, all that I got out of this "date" was a few more free drinks and some dancing. I had a good time, but I did not seal the deal, nor did I even get the dinner. D^2 bid farewell and entered her taxi. I had a fun night out and I still chat to her from time to time though.

Blog: Voyage to Asia

Voyage to Asia is a blog with contributors from all over the world. The site centers on cultural exchange between East and West, with a particular focus on Black American experiences in East Asia. While the site might not revolve around game, there are plenty of informative and inspirational articles that chronicle the personal development of the contributors, and may motivate you to embark on a journey to the Orient, or at least on a journey of self-improvement and discovery.

Oh, and yours truly is a recent guest contributor.

Dating Chinese Women: Changsha

The city of Changsha is the capital of Hunan Province, the city where Chairman Mao converted to communism, and home of many prestigious universities among other things. The food is delicious, and the ladies are even more so! Going to Changsha during the summer was a real treat for me, and I ended up spending five days there rather than the three days that I had initially planned due to a train ticket mistake. Looking back at my experiences in that city, I certainly cannot complain.

My most memorable date in Changsha was with a girl that we will call "V". I met her on WeChat using the "Look Around" function one evening when I was bored. To my surprise, I had several greetings from people in my area; hers was the one that stood out the most. We chatted for a bit, and I learned that she was a senior at one of the city's universities. I tried to set up a language exchange that night, but since she was busy, she agreed to meet me the next day.

She did not flake on our meeting, and showed up at the nearby McDonald's just as we had planned. McDonald's is not the kind of food to have a language exchange over, despite cultural imperialism and all of that rot, so "V" took me to a restaurant that specialized in Hunan cuisine. We shared an incredibly spicy dish (paid for by "V") while holding a conversation about life, travel, and music. It occurred to me that "V" had a particular interest in Black men, but unlike Japanese women that I have dated in the past, she seemed more interested in me as a person than what entertaining stereotypes I could live up to.

It started to rain hard that night, and "V" did not want to stay out too late, though she wanted to spend more time with me. I suggested for us to continue our language exchange (or rather English lesson, since I only learned how to properly pronounce the number 6 in Chinese) in my hotel room. "V" lost her interest in studying English, and wanted to study something else.

Changsha was probably the best city for me when it came to dating Chinese women, and all of the delicious restaurants there give plenty of options for setting up restaurant dates. Changsha would certainly be a place that I would want to work when I go back to China if I can find a good gym there. Next week, I will talk about one of my experiences dating in Xi'an. You may also want to go back and read about my experience dating in Guangzhou.

Travel Review and Anecdotes: China Airlines

I chose to fly China Airlines on my recent trip to Asia this summer due to costs. The flag carrier of the Republic of China (that's Taiwan) does not have the cleanest safety record, but its flights from LAX to TPE and HKG are comparatively cheap, and their safety record has improved in recent years. My itinerary consisted of four flights.

China Airlines Flight 5

CI5 was the first leg of my flight from LAX to HKG, and my first flight in a Boeing 747. The flight was about two hours late to the gate in L.A., and the takeoff felt like it was rushed (not that I am an aviation expert, but I could have sworn that I felt a tailstrike or something). The entertainment choices were pretty good; I ended up watching the new RoboCop, Lego Movie (I had to see it for all of the hype; it seems appropriate for kids but as an adult, I only see it as a hipster bandwagon and marketing ploy), and Anchorman. Meal service was not memorable, but nothing to complain about. Due to skilled piloting, or perhaps the airline compensating for delays in its schedule, we were only an hour late getting to Taipei.

China Airlines Flight 677

After a fifteen minute layover at Taiwan Taoyuan International Airport (TPE), it was time to board an Airbus A330 for the flight to Hong Kong. I was seated next to a Chinese American PUA; this is probably the first time I have ever been seated next to anyone remotely interesting on a flight. We discussed girls, game, travel, and culture in between making passes on one of the the stewardesses.

The flight itself was a bit frightening, marked by heavy turbulence, and at one point it sounded like the engines shut off completely. Once again, I am no aviation expert, so I could be totally wrong. Landing in that heavy chop was pretty wild, at least from the perspective of a passenger, but I am here to tell you about it, so no worries.

China Airlines Flight 602

My itinerary on the way out of Asia was similar to that on the way in, but it played in reverse. CI602 was a flight from Hong Kong to Taipei on an Airbus A330. Brunch consisted of some greasy rice noodles with beef and vegetables (they were good on my empty stomach though), and although the flight was short, the same entertainment system present on longer flights was employed here as well. I tried to catch 42, the movie about Jackie Robinson, but I was only about to see the first hour of it before we landed. This flight was uneventful aside from the beautiful view of Taiwan as we went into the landing pattern, and the fact that it felt like the pilot was fighting the plane as we touched down.

China Airlines Flight 8

After spending ten days in Taiwan, it was time to return to my mundane life in America via CI8. This 747 flight from TPE to Los Angeles International was rather uneventful, and the food service was the same stuff that was served on CI5. I was able to catch the last parts of 42 that I missed, watched a bit of Oblivion (but unlike Anchorman, I really couldn't push myself to watch it again), and checked out Olympus Has Fallen. I was also able to finish reading Machiavelli's The Prince on this flight. We arrived about an hour ahead of time, so I guess that China Airlines made up the lost time that they owed me from my outbound flight.

In closing, I think that China Airlines is a decent airline. I want to try new airlines, so I will probably try to fly Evergreen next time, but if their schedule or prices are inconvenient, then I will most likely fly China Airlines again on my next trip to Asia (assuming that Taiwan is my first destination).

Dating Chinese Women: Guangzhou

In this series, I will post about various dates that I have had with Chinese women during my stay in China over the summer. To be precise, I am going to talk about the three most memorable girls, one from each of the three cities that I visited. I will not be using full names, nor will I get into all of the nitty-gritty details. Without further ado, let's talk about my dating experiences with "L", a sweet Chinese girl that I met on QQ prior to embarking on my trip.

I contacted "L" on my third day into my trip. She was free and eager to meet me, though she ran a bit late. Why was she late? She had to bring me flowers and candy. She also paid for half of the night's hotel fee. After dropping off her presents in the hotel room, it was my turn to pay for things. We went to a nearby Japanese restaurant for some food, and I was able to show off some of my Japanese language abilities, which made up for my embarrassing lack of Mandarin. Luckily," L" was not one of the Chinese people that vehemently despise the Japanese. After our dinner, the skies opened up with rain, and we rushed back to the hotel. Success.

The next day, "L", her friend, and I went to Chimelong Water Park. Once again, she came out of pocket to pay for my admission. We had a wonderful time beating the heat, and my did she look luscious in her bathing suit. That night, I had the privilege of having two Chinese women sleeping in my bed (only sleeping, nothing dirty went down that night kids).

We woke up, and I was treated to breakfast at a nearby restaurant. Unfortunately, it was time for us to say goodbye, but "L" would visit me many times during my stay in Guangzhou. Not to sound like a simping bluepill mangina, but I have never experienced such devotion from a woman as I have from "L". I still keep in contact with her to this day, and I plan on seeing her again when I return to the Middle Kingdom.

In the next episode, I will talk about dating a Chinese woman in Changsha, a city known for having the hottest college girls. Stay tuned.

Lessons from China: Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone

Although I failed to learn Chinese during my stint in China over the summer, I did learn and relearn some important life lessons there. The most important lesson that I learned was that one must leave their comfort zone in order to unveil and capitalize off of opportunities.

This does not mean that one has to leap directly into the danger zone, but taking a few steps outside of the box, especially for starters, can open up new worlds. In my case, going to China in the first place was a step outside of my comfort zones of Japan and the United States (comfortably numb in the case of the latter). The next step was to open up to people, despite language barriers and racial barriers (both real and perceived).

The Danger Zone

This somewhat more outgoing approach to life lead to numerous opportunities (mostly chances to drink or get laid, but I won't complain about that), and numerous friendships that may develop into more profitable relationships in the future. In order to profit, one must be able to reach people, and one way to reach people is to venture out into the world and get to know people.

Of equal, or perhaps greater importance is stepping outside of your mental comfort zone. Many people have been mentally conditioned for failure for a variety of reasons. Some of us have been so thoroughly conditioned that failure becomes a habit. We seek sources to justify our failures, such as sob forums like the now-defunct PUAHate, and consistently put ourselves down, making our lives even more miserable and the lives of our competitors easier. This is a habit that I am trying to cast off completely.

This is not to say that life does not have obstacles, but if we do not take that step forward, we will never be able to surmount the obstructions that life may throw at us, instead staying stagnant as life passes us by. In order to change my mindset, I have begun a program of serious study. This includes studying those that have succeeded in realms that I wish to succeed in, as well as reflecting on my past experiences and comparing notes with those in similar situations that are seeking solutions to common problems.

I have not reached all of my short-term goals yet, but I am a few steps closer to doing so. I am also more open to and aware of opportunities that present themselves. I hope that those of you reading this are willing to take that first step out of the comfort zone towards your objectives.

Excerpts from Xi'an: Up in the Club

This is yet another semi-response to a post found on VoyageToAsia. The author there talks about things that he does in China that he does not do in the United States. One of the items on his list is clubbing, which is a commonality since I only go clubbing in China (and Japan; I hope to hit the club at least once in Taiwan too in the future).

Of course, the most obvious reason why I like to go to the clubs in Asia, and seldom go in America is the women. I have a penchant for Northeast Asian girls, and really do not find American women of any race to be attractive. Also, despite anti-Black racism in the Asian dating scene, I find Asian women much easier to vibe with than Western women. There are a few other reasons why I prefer clubbing in Asia to clubbing in America though:

Free Drinks for the Foreigner

There was a stint in Xi'an where I was going to the club every night, in part just to get free drinks. Just about every night I went out I would get free drinks just for showing up and doing a few dance moves. If I just wanted to get buzzed for free, I could hit the club, drink on someone else's tab, and maybe make a few friends.

Nobody's Throwing Bows

In America, we always hear about people getting beaten, shot up, or stabbed in the club. There is no way I'm going to come out of pocket to have a slim chance to dance with women I'm not attracted to and risk being the victim of violence by some faux-Alpha that wants to impress his girl. Yes, violence has happened in Asian clubs, but is is far less common. Usually, the only holes I have to worry about going home with are those of a pretty young thang, not a 9mm.

Relaxed Dress Codes

With regards to foreigners, at least, we can show up looking like slobs and still get VIP treatment. Of course, this applies mainly to White guys, and there are clubs where Black guys or foreigners aren't even allowed in (although I never encountered that), but I got away dressing down when hitting the clubs. It felt good to stroll into the club for free with shorts and a plain white tee, whereas in America I'd probably be ushered away due to the dress codes. This probably varies from club-to-club, but in general, dress codes have never been an issue in my observation.

People Still Like to Have Fun

There are quite a few clubs in China where people will only interact with their own group of friends, and clubs where people are indulged in taking selfies, but there seems to be a higher ratio of people that just want to have a good time. In the States, people just seem to want to look cool or act tough, but in Asia club-goers seem to be a lot friendlier.

As always, your mileage may vary, but those are my reasons.

Racism in Asia as it Pertains to Dating

This post is a semi-response to the post on East Asian racism found at Voyage to Asia. If you like upbeat articles with information about Asia from the perspective of Black people (and others), then be sure to check out that blog. My writing, on the other hand, is a bit more gritty to digest.

On just about every pick up, dating, sexual-conquest-bragging, etc. forum out there, there are Black posters that ask if girls from such-and-such nation go for brothas. Given that most of these forums are White-centered (which makes sense as most of the posters are likely White men), you can expect a lot of discouraging answers. Some posters give reasonable anecdotes (that doesn't mean "feel-good rhetoric" where Black men slay, but realistic and/or objective anecdotes), while others seem to have an agenda to keep you from hopping on a plane and checking things out for yourself. As always, you can expect entities to act in their best interests, and it is in their best interests for them to defeat their rivals (us) mentally before we even embark on our journeys.

Now, let's be honest, brothers: you know that Black men are not really as in demand as White men, especially in East Asia. When you post on these majority non-Black forums looking for answers, what you are really doing is seeking for someone to hold your hand and tell you that everything is going to be alright before you go online, look up pictures of the women that you desire, and frig yourself with said hand. I know because I used to do the same thing in the past before I got fed up and decided to go on a campaign telling Black men to avid travel to East Asia by any means necessary. I would still say that you must acknowledge the position that you are likely to be put in as a Black man in Asia, and wouldn't suggest travel there unless you have clear-cut objectives or an undying desire to travel or live there (as I have), but if you have a chance, and if you get the opportunity and want it, you should take it.

Now, just because I had a good time in Asia doesn't mean that you will. Just because I had a good time over the summer doesn't mean that I will have a good time next time. There really are no guarantees, even for super-duper White guys, as some forum posts indicate. I must also say that although I like looking at statistics and hearing stories about the experiences of other Black men in these countries, I advise you to choose the country that best suits your needs and gives you the most opportunities as an individual. Despite this belief, I am going to briefly go over some generalities in the dating scenes for Black men in Japan, Mainland China, South Korea, and Taiwan. This information is based on personal experience, conversations with other Black men that have lived in these countries, observations, and forum posts from users of various races that have lived in these countries. Remember that your mileage may vary though.

Japan

The Land of the Rising sun is probably the best of the four countries when it comes to dating for Black men in general. Hip-hop, Reggae, and other forms of Black music have sizable followings there, and there are more "Black groupies" here than any other country. In my experience, I didn't act "Black enough" to do too well with the hip-hop honeys, but given that the country is more open-minded to Black people and is more polite in general, I still ended up doing OK.

Mainland China

I would wager that the Middle Kingdom is a distant second for Black men after Japan, although some say that South Korea would work better for us. I am of the belief that in general, Chinese people are friendlier and more down to earth than Koreans, so it would be a better place to grind a numbers game. Also, if you are from an Anglophone Western country, you might gain a bit of status since some Chinese girls might see you as a vehicle to get a green card. On a personal note, I did much better in China than I did in Japan in terms of quantity. I got into clubs for free and got free drinks just about every night and made quite a few friends (some with benefits). There were way less Chinese girls that were open to Black men in general compared to Japanese girls, but Chinese girls seemed to like me for me rather than liking me because they wanted me to sing 50 Cent to them.

South Korea

Compared to Mainland China, I would think that South Korea would be less open to Black men in general, but reports indicate that there are more hip-hop groupies there, so if you can fit that look and persona you might do OK in some locales. I have never been to Korea, nor do I have much of an interest in the country, so I cannot give personal commentary. I can say that Korean exchange students seemed more approachable than their Chinese counterparts when I was a university student though.

Taiwan

I would wager that there are probably more Black groupies in Taiwan than in Mainland due to being more Westernized and having a bit of a Japanese vibe. On the other hand, hip-hop, reggae, and other forms of Black music didn't really seem to take off there like they did in Japan, so you'll have a smaller "fanbase" to play with. Also, being from a Western country isn't special like it would be in Mainland since Taiwanese girls don't seem to be hunting green cards like girls in "China proper". I didn't spend a lot of time in Taiwan, but people seemed nice enough, and with enough time I could probably get the Taiwanese flag. Reports say that Taiwan is probably the least open place for Black men to get dates, but I'm inclined to believe that it is possible.

In conclusion, we have to keep in mind that the world is dynamic. Today you may be hated, but there is a chance, albeit slim, that you can be loved tomorrow; the converse is true as well. With that in mind, I urge you to look into opportunities to improve your (and perhaps our) economic and social standings to make sure that you have a say when it comes to your future. Best of luck wherever your destinations may be.